


You can call my name

by Midgetphan



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Friends With Benefits, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-14
Updated: 2018-11-14
Packaged: 2019-08-23 10:28:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,229
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16617218
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Midgetphan/pseuds/Midgetphan
Summary: a friends with benefits to lovers scenario that is too short and fast that if you blink you miss it.





	You can call my name

Dan had realized, early, early on.

Early when it was Phil’s voice the one that he fell asleep listening to during so many consecutive nights it started making him sleepy hearing him at midday so he stopped. Early when Phil made his whole family, his younger brother even, laugh honestly at dinner the first time he visited him down south and his grandma had reached up to arrange Phil’s hair to a quaff saying he should show that pretty forehead of his more often. (Phil’s blush had been admittedly adorable and Dan had giggled until his grandma had done and said the same to him.)

Early when Phil’s voice singing from the bathroom had resonated so loud and out of tune, Dan rolled his eyes but didn’t feel the urge to put his earphones on.

He knew he loved Phil then. He knew it many times more after that. Single moments of realization that kept on hitting him with knowledge that he wanted to keep this person in his life forever. Phil yawning while cooking rice for them. Phil with one sock on stretching after a slow afternoon of binge watching a show. Phil laughing so hard and for so long the wrinkles on his skin are visible. This mundane, white tall northern guy who eats fast and sits with his legs wide open. Dan knew he wanted to keep him for himself for good.

This was the first person Dan had labeled as best friend without a hint of a doubt that no one else would ever occupy the spot.

The first person Dan truly felt had received all there was of him. Good and bad. Good, laughing, cuddling, affection seeker Dan. Bad, yelling, insecure, jealous Dan. Inexperienced, curious, horny Dan too.

The first person Dan had truly known all there is to know. Good, helper, cuddling Phil. Bad, retracted, messy Phil. Not as experienced, willing to experiment Phil too. Dan knew it all. Loved him all.

Dan had realized early on too, how labels were dangerous, scary.

Labels meant pointing fingers and questions and side glances. It meant things shared between crumpled sheets and insatiable touches were going to be discussed on, judged. Dan had realized then how easily terror could overtook fondness on him, and how indifference could overtook Phil’s warmth because Phil wasn’t a perfect all-knowing being.

Hooking up with other people had been normal. Not frequent. Not claimed either because at the end of the day they had agreed on no labeling things, and also because at the end of the night it was  _home_  where they would come back to.

Phil was being flirted on.

From the corner he had secluded himself on, conveniently seated near snacks that tasted fancy and were too small, Dan could see Phil was leaning in. giving in the flirting blonde guy. Looked at them leaving the room and Dan was about to call it a night. Go back to his hotel room and get drunk and watch a sad movie, when his phone notified him of a text.

He had followed them then instead of calling. A bit tipsy, a bit heated. Entirely delighted interrupting them on the exit stairs, Phil’s mouth on the blonde’s neck. A simple cough had made Phil separate as if electrocuted to look back at Dan.

“Marianne says it’s urgent.” Dan shrugged, looking at his phone. Turned to leave, Phil sure following behind. The blonde guy had not so much whispered his room number and Dan had not so much pretended not to hear.

Not many words had been exchanged then. Not even during the explanations of Marianne about some collaborations that were to be filmed the next day. Phil’s jaw was tense. Phil’s eyes not met Dan’s. Not when the elevator’s doors closed leaving them with uncomfortable silence. Phil reached out to press the floor that wasn’t his. Dan knew. They had separate rooms, same floor.

Dan had reacted then, as many times before. Reached a hand to grasps pale wrist. Took steps to stand as near Phil as possible.

“Come to mine instead?” he hadn’t mean it to sound like a question but Phil had rejected him before, chosen a different bed, a different person to spend the night with. Dan wondered if he would let go if that happened. If his mouth would made a better convincing job. Had done it before.

Seconds passed before Phil nodded. Dan let go of his wrist. Pressed the number to their floor instead.

They fucked that night. Phil pressed Dan against the nearest wall as soon as the door slammed closed on Dan’s bedroom. Dan found it exhilarating, as if he had won somehow. Dan’s cell-phone, still on his hand by then, thrown away to pull Phil closer. The thud of it reaching the carpet a lost sound next to his own panting. His hands fast to tear each other’s clothes apart faster.

Once they made it to the bed Dan slowed things. Pushed Phil’s insistent body firm enough to made him understand he wanted to savor it. Savor  _him_. Phil wordlessly gave in. Slowed down to taste and grope and kiss and caress. Dan melted. He could swear Phil was melting along.

Phil fell asleep on his side, back presented to Dan. Dan didn’t mind. Never had. Phil’s spots on his back were counted, memorized and preserved by Dan this way. He could embrace or push to be embraced as he had many times before. Didn’t.

Dan knew it enough then. Sheets tangled with them. Phil’s nape one he had memorized the smell of. Phil’s back one he enjoyed indulging himself on. Dan knew it then, that labels were shit and unnecessary and he wanted to fight their fear. He felt brave enough after so many years of taking and giving partially to the man who had stolen his heart from the very beginning. Brave enough to quiet his brain and let himself be drowned in bravery.

Enough to press digits on each freckle and say, knowing Phil is awake by his breathing only. “I fell in love with you, you know? Years ago. And I believe you love me too.”

Phil took in one deep breath. Dan felt it because he was so close.

“I do.”

Dan bit his lip. “As in, in love with me?”

“Yes, Dan. Exactly like that.”

Phil turned then. Dan didn’t move not even when their noses were close enough to touch and it was difficult to focus sight.

“Have I not made it clear?” Phil asked.

“None of us have.”

“I’m sorry.”

“I’m sorry too.”

“Is it clear now?”

“I love you Phil.”

“I love you Dan.”

“More than platonic.”

“More than platonic.”

“And I get jealous a lot.”

“Me too Dan.”

“And it’s not just sex.”

“I hope it’s also a part of it.”

“But I don’t want you to sleep with other people.”

“That’s kind of what being committed to someone means.”

“Unless we have a very kinky night.”

“Don’t get me hard again.”

“Labels are shit but let’s be boyfriends Phil.”

Phil kissed his nose then, “Let’s be boyfriends Dan.”

Dan had realized then. Not as early on, but early enough. Phil had loved him just as long. That Phil had been willing to be brave enough with and not for him.

And he kept on realizing every day after that.


End file.
